Alone #Day 3 - The Invitation

My dad sent me message, he asked me if is there any possibility for me to gather to celebrate Iedul Fitri together with him, my mom and also with my brothers. That was a tough offers, but my heart still didn't find the answer of my emptiness. Even though I was hoping to come to their house, but I don't want to meet them with this face. I don't wanna show them my sadness, I don't wanna show them my sorrow, they had enough to see my tears it's just not fair for them.

I smell the odor coming from inside my jacket, owh ... I think it came from my body reacts when under stress.
"Owh boy... I think I had enough for today, already scratching my head, smell like ten spirit, and don't know am I doing right now. Yes I am reaching beyond my stress level" I just grumble to my self.

Suddenly I remembered my conversation with my friend this afternoon, he gave me a suggestion that I have to hold on until the matter is resolved as time goes by.
"Kalo lo maen air siap-siap basah, kalo lo maen api siap-siap terbakar, kalo kamu maen hati... siap-siap aja merana bro..." he said.
"Yes I know that already bro..."
"You know already but you are not READY"
"hemm... you've got the point there"
"My suggestion, just quit playing with your heart. Your life is not playground, your way of life is your daughters future men..."
"Yeah... you're right about that"
Yeah sometimes my pal was very wise about way of life, maybe because he's older than me or maybe it's just me who never learn. I am the genius intelligent programmer who has a stupid and boring life, therefore I try look another exciting life out there.

Hatred was not works for me, It's works only for Ash life. And I don't like to pretend as if nothing happened with my heart, just makes me feel guilty for cheating on her and it's become worse every minutes every second.